Dear, darling Britney,

I hope you don't take this the wrong way. You've been doing so so well on your tour and performing and getting back to normality. I really thought the worst was behind us. But I forgot (and this is completely my fault) that you were ... YOU. Britney Spears. She who loves her vagina so much she likes to show everyone. This leotard with a sheer frock on top? I don't know why I'm shocked at all! It's kind of like what you wear for your dance practice, is it not? Look darls, you can wear anything you like as far as I'm concered, all I'm questioning is whether this is the place for it. You know? You realise you're at the Grammy's. The highest pinnacle of musical recognition in the world, don't you? Cool, cool. Just checking.

Much love, mwah, mwah!

xx