This is either the only red carpet event Eva Herzigova gets invited to, or it's the only one she loves to attend because it's the only really big event I ever see her at - she's here every single year. Why? Who knows? Is she married to a film director or something? Perhaps she just looks stunning on the red carpet, even if she does look terribly slim this year. Her dress choices are beautiful.

Hmmm, how can I surprise the fashion bloggers today? I know, I'll wear a train! I've never done it before! It'll make me look at least a foot taller than I am and Lord knows I need the height. Cannes is my favourite festival, I make it over here every year. I'm so much fun and well dressed they just keep inviting me back!

Stop all the clocks!

Don't tell Germaine!

The NY Times has declared corsetry BACK due to a recent increase of Latino wearers (they, of course, are opting for the Spanish version, the Faja).

Fan Bing Bing didn't know she'd become my pin-up for the hourglass when she donned this number at Cannes recently but with the waistline of a snippet she had little choice. (PS. LOVE this outfit. You?)

On the down side, the modern day girdle 'is so tight they “can force the air out of your lungs,” and cause organ-shifting' (to quote both Fashionista and the NYT) but on the upside, perhaps it'll pose an alternative for the modern day nip and tuck? 

I'm personally excited as I'm having a Marie Antoinette wedding in a matter of moments (engagement still pending) and it's bang for bride and bridesmaids alike. I'm also a fan of the hourglass so if the corset fits then why not? If it's not for you, there's always Spanx, some reformer or just some good 'old' fashioned freestyling. Your choice.

ZC

I can't recall a time before the recent MET Gala Ball when (cue stoning of crowes etcetera and other Home + Away 'Alfisms' denoting disbelief) Diana Kruger stuffed-up. 

But that night, she was off my best dressed list like an LDR tune off charts. 

Here however, at Cannes (note the silent and deadly 's' on the end CCLs: pronounce it aloud and you'll be appropriately shamed), she is tapping mint like all good fashionistas should be right now: boldly, fearlessly and unashamedly. And the result is splendidity. Squared, actually. Yes, splendidity squared. 

She looks like she could be seen throwing out bird seed fo' toppins a la Mary Poppins or running around a small French town looking for her papa whilst belting out a Disney tune circa Beauty and the Beast.

But alas, she's just collecting awards and shit, or whatever these guys do on carpets that are red.

I adore a LFD (Long Flowy Dress) like the next person. But only when it straddles these three rules: 

1. Hair up. Every time. No question. What else do you think your shoulder blades are for Kruges? (She wore it down at the MET - bowwboww. Or whatever that noise is you hear on the TV game shows that show during nana's tea time)

2. An interesting neckline with a non-narcoleptic body. Definition of the latter can be tested when on flights of stairs like Kruges is here. So long as it falls behind you with more grace than a Kelly, you're generally fine. Extra points if you just 'have' to hold some of the fabric to the right for good (read: dramatic) measure.

3. Big FO jewels a la RZ (Or Rach Zoe. She always has her way with a big jewel which is the reason I commend her for the purpose of this post and probably never again)

ZC 

You know I can't resist a shot of Kate Moss in her glamour state, especially when she's wearing this black, sleek-fake-fur jacket. She has a few jackets like this, one with long sleeves that she's had for years, but this one looks like a newbie. Over her languid black dress, it's simply perfect for a night out at the Marie Curie Cancer Fundraiser.

Am particularly liking her makeup here. A whole lotta bronzer, especially under the cheekbones (so 80's) with eyeliner, a bare lip and no blush. It accentuates the angular lines of her face, but what really makes the look are her eyebrows - or lack of them. I'm not usually a fan of the too-blonde brow but it totes work for Kate in this instance.

Jennifer Lopez wields her star presence around like a well-used weapon, especially when she's sharing a red carpet with someone like Cameron Diaz. Who's the bigger star? If you were to look at these pictures, you'd say J-Lo for sure.

Cameron is in a fun, flirty, black lace mini with a cute skater skirt while Jennifer has gone for 100% the golden, Grecian glamour goddess look (that's four G's folks, you know it's serious).

Trying to outshine her co-star? We wouldn't expect anything less! I can't imagine her ever taking a backseat to anyone.

There are some people who own Birkins that don't really suit them. Ashley Tisdale is one (Heidi Montag was another - it was sacrilege that she got to carry one!).

I'm not saying Ashley doesn't deserve it, and it does look great in this bright blue with her neutral toned outfit (points, really, it looks fab). But isn't she a bit young to be accessorising with $20K worth of Hermes?

It just doesn't gel so well with her young, fun attitude and sense of style. It's more of a polished ladies thing. You wouldn't see Rachel Bilson carrying one, for example. She's got the sense to know her style is not there yet. Maybe in ten years, but not now. It's a Victoria Beckham bag - totally stylised and in the upper echelons of the social barometer. It's not a bag to be paired with ripped jeans and wedges.

It's been a while since we saw Meg Matthews (ex of Noel Gallagher, Kate Moss' friend), and I'm not sure this is how I want to see her, to be honest.

I love the idea of the dress - anything nightie-like speaks to me. But it's the way her breasts sit in the dress.

It's just a bit too bare for me. Too nightie-ish. A sexy, lace slip dress is one thing but something that you would actually wear to seduce someone in the bedroom? Something else entirely. Keep it behind closed doors please.

Morning. Thought we'd start the day with a shot of Gisele's butt, for Vogue Paris of course. I don't even think she's airbrushed. Cue mass sigh.

A lovely shot of pregnant Sienna Miller, who has miraculously managed to hang onto her stick thin legs whilst preggers - not an easy feat, let me tell you. Even in ankle boots which are a clear no-no for me if I've got a big belly. She looks great with darker hair too. The key is the loose nature of the dress and belting it below the belly, not on top like I've seen in some pregnancy mags. And a sharp blazer, as always, is a good investment while pregnant. You tend to feel very messy and sloppy, and a blazer keeps things together and polished. An easy look to copy.